what is it that you want to know?

top five questions asked of someone who has just been newly hired as a security guard on the board....
*kiss kiss* and the lady says....do you get to carry a gun?
survey says??? number one answer!

ah yes...the first thing from most people's lips is "do you get to carry a gun?"....my answer: no..... and sometimes: should i want to?

no. 2 so if you aren't carrying a gun, then what do you carry to protect yourself?
this question is often followed by several well considered options like a tazer, cause that could be fun? a billy club? mace?
the answer is my cell phone and a pencil and paper because my job is to "observe and report:

no. 3 is usually a comment on number 2 like...what?? observe and report?? and no weapon??
and my answer is usually...right

no. 4 logically follows with....so how big is your flashlight then?
that's kinda personal don't you think? and actually it's rather small...but i've discovered that size doesn't really matter if it's a well made flashlight, and i know how to use it properly.....

no. 5 aren't you scared? or are you at a mall?
well....who wouldn't be when you are guarding crackland?...but i think i would also be afraid in the mall as well....out in front of claire's....all that pink and girly crap could totally cut into my hyper macho way of being.....

and i must include this most favorite of the questions i've been asked...even if it has come up only once: "so are you doing this as an art project?"
are you kidding? no!

i'm doing this for my blog